ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am midnight drunk by noon
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
