Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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