Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize