speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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