I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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