woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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