He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Found the puke drawer
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
