I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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