i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
