I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
