we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
