there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
