we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
