3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
