Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
