I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
