we have pet lesbian snakes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
