shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
