i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
