4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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