my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
