Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize