R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
