Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
