the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
