all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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