Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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