he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize