I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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