i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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