so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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