I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
