My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
