i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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