She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
