I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize