if you like me you must not know who I am
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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