He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize