I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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