The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
