i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hippo gnu deer
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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