Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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