I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
