They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how do flat chested girls get laid?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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