I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drunk is not a location!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
