We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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