That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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