When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
