First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
