well you can't waste a boner
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
