FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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