If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
