All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize