i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
