Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
