i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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