she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
