so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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