so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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